Remove the cream cheese from the fridge to soften while you prepare the rest of the recipe. Add the cranberries to a food processor, and pulse until coarsely chopped into small pieces. You don't want to overdo it and risk the cranberries being too pulverized/soggy.
Add the chopped cranberries to a mixing bowl with the jalapenos, green onions, and cilantro. Drizzle the lemon juice on the mixture and sprinkle in the sugar. Stir until coated, and let the mixture sit for 30 to 60 minutes (and up to 48 hours, see notes).
Whip the cream cheese with a hand blender for 1 to 2 minutes. Spread the whipped cream cheese in the bottom of a pie plate. Spoon the cranberry mixture in batches into a mesh sieve over the sink. Use the back of a spoon to press out excess liquid. You don't need to press it all out, because you still want there to be enough flavor in the cranberry mixture. Spoon the drained mixture on top of the cream cheese.
Serve the dip with Triscuit crackers, toasted baguette slices, or cinnamon sugar pita chips. Enjoy!
If you don't have a food processor, you can chop the cranberries by hand. If you don't have a mesh sieve, you can drain the relish mixture through a cheese cloth.
The cranberry mixture can be made up to 48 hours in advance and stored in a bowl covered with plastic wrap in the fridge. When you're ready to serve the dip, whip the cream cheese and assemble the rest of the recipe.